if alex had a kid...
- alex: remember, as your dad is a badass, you also have to be one
- kid: but you're not ba-
- alex: you'll have to be in a band and be an awkward and adorable teenager... just like i was
- kid: okay
- alex: you'll also have to have a skinny model as a girlfriend
- kid: i see
- alex: and then you'll get a side project, a new band with your best mate, you see?
- kid: yeah
- alex: and you'll have to act gay with him
- kid: wh-
- alex: and then you'll grow your hair and you'll have to look high as hell
- kid: ...i-
- alex: and you'll look hot as hell and then you'll cut your hair and make a quiff!!
- kid: da fu-
- alex: and you'll use leather jackets and cowboy shirts...
- kid: ...
- alex: oh and remember! use always the same jeans and boots
- kid: ...
- alex: then you'll do a tattoo and self-promote it in your band's video, by shoving it to the camera, yeah?
- kid: i'm sorry dad. i don't want to look ridiculous.